Drag and transgender in the 1900s

Colette’s lover Missy / Max (Mathilde de Morny, the Marquise of Belboeuf) lived most, if not all, of her adult life in drag. Society in the 1900s was still rigidly divided into binaries: male/female, heterosexual/homosexual. Today, we are lucky enough not to have to define ourselves so strictly, but then, blurred boundaries, fluid identities, the rainbow spectrum of gender and sexuality, transgender identities, biculturalism, bisexuality, Adrienne Rich’s scale of lesbian continuum… all of these had yet to be invented.

In “Secrets of the Flesh”, Judith Thurman writes, “It is not clear whether Missy thought of herself as a lesbian or as a man”, but she didn’t like [other] women who dressed as men, and “a lesbian couple, both in drag, offended her.” (pp.152-153). From what I’ve read, it seems that Missy did think of herself as a man; those of Colette’s biographers who recognise their six-year relationship (not all of them do) agree that Missy liked to be addressed as “Monsieur le Marquis” (the masculine version of her correct title, “Madame la Marquise”), and “Max” or “Uncle Max” by her circle of intimate friends (“Colette” by Allan Massie, p.58). If she were alive today, it seems likely that Missy would identify as transgender, and so I’ve become used to thinking of Missy as Max.

However, while reading Colette’s letters to Missy, (“Lettres à Missy” edited by Samia Bordji and Frédéric Maget), I was surprised to find only one instance where Colette refers to Missy as Max. In a telegram dated 15 December 1908, Colette begs forgiveness for writing to “Max”, and explains that she was feverish and will never do so again. It is unclear whether she is begging forgiveness for calling Missy “Max” in a previous letter, or for the contents of that letter.

In the novel I’m writing about Colette and Anaïs Nin, Nights in Paris, I first had Colette addressing Missy as Max. However, after reading Colette’s letters, I’ve changed it to Missy, with Max as a special erotic name. I’ve also kept to female pronouns for Missy, unless she is being Max (again, I’m going by Colette’s letters). I want to be authentic, and for my Colette character to think about Missy as the real Colette did. However, I do think that, if they were living their relationship today, Missy would call her/himself “he” and “Max”. So which is the right thing to do? What would Colette do?

Colette’s infidelity — a natural greediness

In Colette’s letters to her lover, Missy / Max, (“Lettres à Missy”, edited by Samia Bordji and Frédéric Maget), Colette often signed off by promising to be good, and sending her kisses and love to Missy and “the children” (their cats and dogs). I wonder if when Colette said she was being “good”, she was reassuring Missy / Max that she was being faithful.

As well as having more sexual relationships than was socially acceptable in the early 1900s, Colette also had many lovers. During her six-year relationship with Missy / Max, Colette had at least three affairs: a renewed secret liaison with Willy (her first husband); a fling with Auguste Hériot (a handsome, rich young man, who had previously been Polaire’s lover); and a serious affair with Henri de Jouvenel, whom she left Missy / Max for and who became her second husband.

Colette argued that having lovers was part of her “gourmandise” (greedy nature), it was something she did “par folie, par emballement, par… gourmandise” (through madness, enthusiasm… greediness) (p.207). Some writers are greedy for the altered states of alcohol or drugs; Colette was famously greedy for good French food and sex.

However, Colette’s self-indulgence didn’t extend to indulgence towards others. In 1911 (the last year of their relationship), Colette was furious when Missy /Max told her that she had had a young blonde in their house at Rozven, and had cut her hair. The editors of “Lettres” question whether this blonde ever existed, or if Missy /Max invented her as revenge for Colette’s affairs (p.29). Whether the blonde existed or not, the trick certainly worked: after her rage, Colette begged Missy / Max for forgiveness, and begged her not to be unfaithful, not to do what she herself had done (p.207).

It’s interesting that all of Colette’s affairs were with men, whereas when she was married to Willy, she had affairs with women. Perhaps this was part of Colette’s sensual nature, her greed for life: wanting to experience everything, not wanting to miss out on or regret anything… which one might also interpret as “the grass is always greener on the other side”!

Anaïs Nin and Colette on YouTube

A couple of friends came over and videoed me reading aloud from my novel, Nights in Paris. One video shows me reading from The Slave of Bracelets, one of my chapters about Anaïs Nin. In the other video, I read from The Silver Stopper, one of my chapters about Colette.

Not having any acting or filming experience, being filmed was bizarre and excruciatingly embarassing. However, everyone seems to be Tubing these days, and when in Rome, etc.

In the Colette video, I introduce myself in French as well as English. My French is pretty good, but I was so nervous that my pronunciation of “roman” (“novel” — a very easy word to say) wobbled and came out as “romain” instead. I had exactly the same wobble on the next take, which was otherwise okay, so we decided to let it go. So that’s why I’m describing my Roman instead of my novel!

I’m going to attempt to give you the links to my videos, but I find links tricky, so if they don’t work, please search YouTube for my name, Sarah Line Letellier, and the videos should pop up.

Extract from The Slave of Bracelets (about Anaïs)

Extract from The Silver Stopper (about Colette)

Big thanks to Nicola, my web guru, and to Elaine, filmographer extraordinaire! S x

Polaire répond! — Polaire replies!

In my last post, I replied to a comment by “Polaire” (not the original Polaire, obviously!… but the owner of a wonderful website, Polaire-1900), and we discussed our opposing theories of whether Polaire was one of Colette’s lovers. When I say opposing, I mean it in the friendliest way. Neither of us, 100 years later, will ever know the truth about whether the writer and the actress were lovers, but it’s still fascinating to swap theories.

My message to “Polaire-1900″ was both in French and English. The reply is in French, but I’ve summarised each paragraph into English.

Bonjour Sarah,
Tout d’abord, merci beaucoup pour ton message. Dans la mesure où tu parles français parfaitement, je me permets de céder à la facilité (ce n’est pas bien) et je réponds à ton message en français. Je reviens maintenant sur ce que j’ai écrit au sujet des rapports de Polaire avec Colette. Tout d’abord, je te précise que si ta réponse me fait vraiment plaisir, c’est que, dans la mesure où tu n’avais pas intégré mon commentaire sur ton blog, j’ai cru qu’il s’agissait d’un rejet de ce que j’avais dit … j’ai donc été rassuré par ta réponse et le fait que tu aies ajouté sur ton blog ce que j’avais écrit.

Hi Sarah,
Thanks for your message; your French is perfect [that's not true, but very kind: flattery will get you everywhere!] so I’ll do the easy thing and reply to you in French. Regarding what I wrote about the relationship between Polaire and Colette: your reply gave me pleasure because, when you didn’t post my comment on your blog, I took it as a rejection of what I’d said… so I was reassured by your reply and by the fact that you did post my comment on your blog. [There was a technical hitch which meant that there was a delay in the comment being posted, but this wasn't intentional.]

Pour ce qui est de mon opinion sur l’éventualité de rapports physiques de Polaire avec Colette ou d’autres femmes. Ce que j’ai écrit sur ce sujet sur le site est uniquement basé sur les éléments biographiques sur Polaire dont je dispose. C’est à dire l’autobiographie de Polaire (“Polaire par elle-même”) écrite en 1933. Des articles publiés du vivant de Polaire. Ainsi que diverses biographies sur Colette.

Regarding my opinion about whether Polaire had a physical relationship with Colette, or with other women: what I’ve written on my website is based on the autobiography “Polaire, in her own words”, written in 1933, articles about Polaire written in her lifetime, as well as various biographies about Colette.

Je reconnais qu’il y a une certaine “insistance” de ma part sur ce sujet. Mais elle n’est pas due à l’expression d’une conviction personnelle ou a une préférence de ma part sur ce sujet. Si j’avais des informations indiquant que Polaire avait eu des rapports physiques avec Colette ou d’autres femmes, cela ne me gênerait aucunement. Je ne l’en aimerais pas moins à cause de cela. Et je l’aurais écrit sur le site. Mais Polaire n’est plus là pour se défendre. Et c’est pourquoi, dans la mesure où elle a écrit qu’elle n’a jamais eu ce type de rapports, je m’en tiens à ce qu’elle a écrit. Mais je suis par ailleurs tout à fait d’accord avec toi lorsque tu écris que l’histoire permet de laisser libre cours à ses propres convictions, à son imagination. Et que, grâce à l’imagination, tout est possible.

I admit that I am adamant on the topic [that Colette and Polaire were not lovers], but this isn’t based on my own preferance… if I believed that Polaire did have relations with Colette or other women, it wouldn’t bother me. But Polaire is no longer here to defend herself, and so, since she writes that she didn’t have those tendancies, I believe her. But I agree with you when you write that history allows us to let our own convictions and imagination run free… and that, with imagination, everything is possible.

En ce qui concerne ton aide pour traduire le site en anglais, je dois dire que je suis vraiment tenté d’accepter ta proposition car je reçois souvent des mails de personnes qui me disent qu’elles aiment vraiment le site “but so sad it’s in French only”. Tu me diras lorsque tu en auras le temps comment nous pouvons faire. Mais il n’y a aucune urgence sur ce sujet. Et si tu t’occupais de cette traduction, ta contribution serait bien sûr indiquée sur les pages concernées. Je pense en particulier aux pages Biographie. Merci encore, sincèrement, pour ton message et tes commentaires sur ton blog. Bien amicalement….

Regarding your offer to translate my website into English, I admit I’m very tempted to accept. I often receive emails from people who say they love my website, but “it’s so sad it’s only in French”. Let me know if you have the time… your contribution would be acknowledged, of course, on the relevant pages — I’m thinking of the “biography” pages in particular. Thanks again for your message and comments on your blog….

Thank YOU, Polaire-1900! It’s such a pleasure to be able to discuss Colette and Polaire with people who share my passion for them. It’s interesting that I and “Polaire-1900″ take sides with the woman we are most passionate about. Colette didn’t confirm the rumours that their relationship was sexual, but she didn’t deny them either. She probably thought that it was no one else’s business either way, and quite right too. That’s what I love about Colette: her always-exact sensibility, her finely-tuned ability to dance on the verge of respectability and explicit sexuality, without ever being coarse or vulgar. If anyone had dared to ask outright if she and Polaire were lovers, her answer would probably have been only to lower her eyes and smile…

So, I now have a new project — how exciting! I can’t wait to begin translating the biography pages on www.Polaire-1900.com.

Letter to Polaire (were Polaire and Colette really lovers?)

Hi Polaire! (I searched for your name on your site, but I couldn’t find it! So, since your email address is Polaire…) Congratulations on your site (http://www.polaire-1900.com/), it’s beautiful. So sorry you had difficulties posting your message… I’m not quite sure what happened, but I managed to post it (in “comments”).

Bonjour, Polaire! (J’ai cherché pour ton nom sur ton site, mais je n’ai pas trouvé! Alors, comme ton addresse émail s’appelle Polaire…) Je te félicite sur ton site, c’est très beau. Je suis desolée que que as eu des difficultés pour poster ton message… je ne sais pas très bien ce qui c’est passé… enfin, finalement j’ai réussi a poster ton message.

Thanks for visiting my blog, and for answering a question I’ve been wondering about. The truth is that no one can really know what happened between Colette and Polaire, except them. This isn’t sad — on the contrary, that’s what I love about history — you can use your imagination, allow yourself to invent things… everything is possible.

Merci beaucoup pour avoir visité mon blog, et aussi pour répondre à une question que je me posais. La vérité, c’est que personne ne peut vraiment savoir ce qui c’est passé entre Colette et Polaire… sauf elles-mêmes. Mais cela n’est pas triste — au contraire, c’est ce que j’aime dans l’histoire. On peut se permettre de l’imagination, les fantaisies… tout est possible.

I’ve re-read the biography page about Polaire, and I still think it insists that love never became physical between the two women. If Polaire was embarrassed by being on stage with a feminine man (it wasn’t even a love scene!), and was averse to homosexuality, it’s pretty much saying that their relationship remained strictly platonic. (“…different witnesses leave no doubt as to Polaire’s aversion to homosexuality… In her memoirs, she describes her embarrassment, in playing Claudine à Paris, when she had to be on stage with ‘that Marcel, wearing outrageous make-up’…” translated from http://www.polaire-1900.com/.)

J’ai relu la page biographie sur Polaire, et j’y trouve toujours une insistance que l’amour n’est jamais devenue physique entre les deux femmes. Si Polaire était gênée en jouant une scène avec un homme féminin (même pas une scène d’amour!), et que l’homosexualité lui faisait éprouver de “l’aversion”, autant dire que leurs relations auraient resté stricement platoniques… (“…des témoignages convergents ne laissent subsister aucun doute sur l’aversion de Polaire à l’égard de l’homosexualité… Elle-même, dans ses souvenirs, évoque la gêne qu’elle éprouvait, dans Claudine à Paris, lors des scènes avec ‘ce Marcel, outrageusement fardé’…”)

Thank you for letting me know about the book “La Folie Polaire”, I found it on Amazon.fr, and read a few reviews… the book sounds fab! I love historical books where facts mix with imagination. That’s what I’m doing — writing a novel (Nights in Paris) about Colette and Anaïs Nin, inspired by their real-life love affairs.

Merci pour ton conseil “La Folie Polaire”, je l’ai trouvé sur Amazon.fr, et j’ai lu plusieurs commentaries sur l’internet… le livre a l’air super! J’aime beaucoup les livres historiques qui mélangent les faits avec l’imagination. C’est ce que je suis en train de faire — j’écris un roman (Nights in Paris) sur Colette et Anaïs Nin qui s’inspire de leurs amours réels.

Your English is perfect! But if you ever feel like discussing Polaire, or Colette, or you need any help translating your site into English… it would be a pleasure!

Ton anglais est parfait! Mais si jamais tu voudras échanger des idées sur Polaire, ou Colette, ou de l’aide pour traduire des pages de ton site en anglais… ce serait un plaisir!

Thanks again for visiting!
Amitiès,
Sarah

Next Page »