Ladies of Wellington

On a new topic, I’ve been writing a series of ladies’ loos, “Ladies of Wellington”. They’ve been published in a local newspaper, The Wellingtonian, on a fairly regular basis since February 2009. The reviews are “real” reviews of ladies’ loos — public loos and loos in cafés, cinemas, restaurants etc — but are slightly tongue-in-cheek. Each review is between 100 and 200 words, and so far, about 30 reviews have been published. According to the editor, the reviews are popular, quirky and well written. I’ve even received fan mail!

It’s a fun column to write, and gives me the perfect excuse to try new cafés. I’ve sat on some beautiful thrones (tiled mosaic floors, gold sinks, gold curtains), and some very grotty ones too (damp concrete floors, holes in the walls, not a shred of loo paper) — all in the name of research!

I would love the reviews to be published as a collection. (The book would make a fab xmas gift!) The newspaper confirmed that I retain copyright of the published reviews, which was a huge relief. So, after dithering about in my usual fashion for a few months, I finally started contacting publishers. As it’s bad form to contact more than one publisher or agent at a time (it’s seen as a sort of literary promiscuity — after all, you’re trying to sell yourself), so I’ll give the first one a week or two longer to get back to me, then I’ll cross them off the list and move onto the next one.

Contacting publishers and agents is such a thoroughly demoralising process. I may as well hang a sign around my neck that says: “Please form an orderly queue and take turns to reject me. Thank you for deigning to waste your valuable time.” I am so bad at the “trying to sell yourself” part of writing (it’s not really writing, it’s more the public relations side of writing) but there’s nothing for it, it has to be done if you want to be published.